Life Fright

For the past few years, clothes shopping has had me in a chokehold. It could be partly due to the trending styles at the time that resonated with me, but the onus was on me for making weekly clothing purchases left and right. Every week, each clothing brand would have new releases and I would find the newest releases to be the latest and greatest and thus be spurred on to purchase them because I was enthralled by the prospect of securing the latest must-have piece. It didn’t help matters that the targeted marketing encouraged these fast, impulsive purchases either. I would justify to myself that this was a good sale with stackable coupons and be compelled to purchase since the item was going fast and there were only a few left in my size. I would imagine the versatility of the piece and the many outfit combinations I could create with that item and think that because I could come up with several, this new piece would be a good addition to my wardrobe. The bottom-line was I wanted it, I could afford it, and all I had to do was checkout and it was mine.

After completing the purchase, I would eagerly await its arrival and I would get notifications about the item getting packed and shipped out. And voilà, it is at my doorstep! Upon its arrival, I would tear into the package and be so happy that the item was in my hands. I would get an even better rush if the item fit well and looked amazing, being doubly pleased with myself for making a good decision to purchase it. And then a few minutes later, I would move on to the next order of business in my day and the associated high would dissipate. Until, of course, I found the next must-have item that I simply had to have and couldn’t stop thinking about until I purchased the item.

After countless cycles of this, I started to notice something strange happening. I no longer felt that rush of happiness. Instead, I felt numb and almost disinterested in my latest acquisitions. I started to no longer feel excited about my purchases and I would feel shorter and shorter bursts of happiness to that point of numbness.

I learned that this is a known phenomenon where that high is induced by hormones, more specifically dopamine. It is cued by experiencing something new whether it is a new experience or a tangible new item. And it extends to social media too! That anticipation of the next new awesome thing keeps the dopamine pump going. There’s a cost though. Over time, this same action leads to less of that dopamine released. As a result, people get pushed towards seeking more, different, and even better to achieve that same rush. It becomes dangerous and can be all consuming.

For me, this revelation was eye opening to experience and learn about around the same time. It caused me to have a better understanding over my actions and know why I felt the way I did about my clothing purchases. Now, I’d like to say that I no longer make these rash clothing purchases, but that would not be true. I of course find myself entranced by items every now and then. However, I now know what it is I am feeling from a physical and psychological perspective and that has placed a safety guard in my purchasing decisions. It has also caused me to look elsewhere and redirect my focus and energy to less consumerist ventures that don’t take a huge chunk out of my wallet.

For those curious about those ventures, I now make sure to include anti consumption news and posts into my daily content to consume. I spend more of my time reading and watching movies on top of connecting more with friends and immersing myself in the real world at the same time. I also have more questions I ask myself when considering a clothing purchase and I postpone the action of actually buying it. In some cases, the item sells out and while I feel sad in the moment, I know it is not the end of the world and I’ll move on. All of these aspects reinforce my desire to spend less money on clothes and more on other things like long-term future purchases I want to save up towards as well as securing my future retirement for my future self.

I hope this post resonates with you and serves to expose what’s happening behind that constant push to seek more and more. For me, it made me more conscious of my actions and increased my desire to tamp down on purchases and habits that were not contributing to my self improvement anymore. It’s given me a reset button and has helped to get me out of that repetitive cycle. I’m now exploring other more fruitful activities and alternating between them so that the dopamine rush attached to them gets a system reset.