Life Fright

Part of getting older comes learned experience and gaining knowledge that your younger self would have been better off knowing. There’s so much power and freedom in placing your opinion above everyone else’s and knowing that you alone are in control of your life. It still hits me every now and then that if I want to eat an entire cake in one sitting I can. If I want to go to the beach today, I can do that too. And if I want to start fresh, I don’t need to wait for the next day or year. I can start now.

One of the big transitions from childhood to adulthood is dulling the strong influence of others to make your own decision. I think following the direction of others is inherent to being a kid. There’s a stereotype attached that adults know better because they are older and have been through more in their additional years of life. And this is true in an idealistic sense. Factoring in intent is another key element. If they have your best interests in mind, then their opinions and advice and can help safeguard you from disaster or even better help streamline to getting to the dream you have in mind. On the flip side, if they are harboring feeling of jealousy, then their advice may sound well meaning, but could mean that your dreams are crushed under the guise of a “reality check”.

All that to say, you alone are responsible for your actions. If something doesn’t feel right, listen to that intuition. Don’t allow someone else to make all the critical decisions in your life. It is not their life to live. They have their own life to live for themselves. All that pressure and persuasion can have manipulative undertones that do not serve you. Growth happens from learning through success and more importantly from failure. Life is going to have twists and turns and there is no guarantee that every dream or goal will work out. Risks foster more opportunity than staying in your comfort zone. Take the chances and of course perform due diligence to make sure that you are as well informed and prepared as you can be.

The people in your life are important don’t get me wrong. But they do not have the right to dictate how you live your life. Think of it this way: if that person wasn’t in your life, would you decide against going after what they’re adamantly shutting down? Emotions are messy and delicate. Learning to navigate the emotions of others while keeping your interests and emotions top of mind is a skill that takes time and practice. The first step is identifying when others are overstepping.

An example from my own experience is when a family member constantly picked apart my appearance starting when I was barely a teenager. Those insecurities then became my insecurities. It took my a lot of time to unravel the damage done there and it was a light bulb a-ha moment to realize that it is simply their opinion. It is not fact. And then seemingly in the blink of an eye, those insecurities were no longer mine. This started the snowball effect of applying a new lens on aspects of my life that I took as a given. I started examining the source. Is it the worries or fears of others that have rubbed off on me that has me thinking and doing things in a similar fashion? What is something that I want to do but don’t because I know that once this or that person hears of it, then I’ll be subjected to a lecture about why I shouldn’t or couldn’t. Don’t let that be you. Work on thinking for yourself without the heavy influential opinions or emotions of others clouding your judgement. You will surprise yourself with just how resourceful and independent you can be!